Streaks Habit 3 – Feed Your Soul


March 2017 – 260.6 pounds

It’s time for a regress…ahem…progress picture. If you have lost weight and regained it recently, you’re not alone! I’m at 260.6. That means I’m down a total of 15 pounds total. What a tiny number list compared to my lowest weight just last year (it was 40 pounds lost).

I “knew” when I started all of this in December 2014 that it would be a lasting change. I would “never” go back to my old ways. Well, as odd as it may seem looking at the numbers, I think I was right.

It’s tempting to see all of my efforts in the last 2+ years as pointless. Yes, I’m frustrated about the weight gain. Yes, I thought I’d be nearing the elusive, shiny goal weight. Or, at least leaving the 200’s…I mean, come on. But, I’m coming out the other side of this feeling more at ease about who I am and more likely to take care of myself.



One of the habits I’ve been tracking on the Streaks app I’ve titled “Feed Your Soul.” There is a profound reason why God compares food with His word and His Son.

No matter how hard I try to be self sufficient, I am an infinitely weak and needy creature. I need food to live (along with things like water, air, Netflix, etc.). There’s no way around it. Not only do I have to depend on God for food, but I desperately need God Himself to sustain my life and my soul. I need to see Him and know Him to keep going in this life and forever.

I didn’t included this in my habit tracking because my life will be perfect if I spend time in the Bible or I will instantly lose 100 pounds if I am in constant prayer. Crazy things will happen no matter what, but when I’m grounded in Jesus and my identity is found in Him, I make better decisions moment by moment.

Even though I’ve regained some weight, I’ve learned some powerful lessons over the past couple of years. I’ve learned that my weight and weight loss are not who I am. I’m not defined by my  interests. I’m (thankfully) not my ability, or lack thereof, to grow tomatoes, make homemade gnocchi, take care of my hair, or swing a kettlebell.

As I press into my struggles to improve my health, I find that my weakness is not necessarily negative. If I’m filling up on Jesus and the word of God, it points to my need for Him. If I can’t do it, He gets all the glory. And, that is the point.



Streaks Habit 2 – 5+ Movement Minutes

5 minutes doesn’t seem like much. I mean, if you’re only spending 5 minutes on something, is it even worth doing?

That amount of time can make a difference in my cleaning routines. In 5 minutes, I can unload the dishwasher, clean the kitchen counters and sweep, or fold and maybe even put away a load of laundry. So, what about physical activity?

I’m short, 5 is better than 0. For me, a 20 minute workout is an hour long commitment (shower, hair care, etc.). Even if I can’t squeeze that in every day, I can do 5 minutes of something (anything).

4 days into using the Streaks app, and I’m 3 for 4 on this habit so far. I even picked up a kettlebell the other day for the first time in months. It felt great (and terrible…I was really feeling it by the end).


The 3 P’s

I just uninstalled MyFitnessPal from my phone. An app called Streaks has dethroned it. (To all my MyFitnessPal friends, I hope you can keep going without my likes…which happen maybe once a month.)

Streaks is the first habit tracking app I found in Google Play. I put in 5 habits I would like to do daily, and I will check them off each day as I complete them. It shows how many days in a row I’ve done each habits (hence the name Streaks).

The next few times I post, I’ll explain one of habits I picked. The first one is the 3 P’s: portions, protein, and produce. I just want those words to go through my head when I’m making my food choices. Reasonable portions, a decent amount of protein, and fruits and veggies are a great start to helping me eat like a grown up.

Today, I thought through these when I desperately needed a snack after work. I grabbed some string cheese (protein), mushrooms, and cilantro (produce). I threw them in a tortilla and added some salsa and a true serving of sour cream (portions). Just like that, I have a reasonable snack that tastes pretty good and has some nutritional value.

We’ll see how it goes, but I’m off to a good start with this. I’m paying attention to what I’m doing, but not obsessing.

Beverages and Me

I’m not sure what the deal is lately, but I’ve been going crazy on the coffee and pop. So much so that the ice water I’m drinking as I write this seems like a long lost friend.

So, you can imagine how surprised I was when I was strolling around Target the other day, minding my own business, when tastebuds rebelled against me and insisted that my chestnut praline mocha was shockingly, excessively sweet.

It was all a bit disorienting.

I’m feeling like my constant sugar and caffeine highs are starting to take a toll. Time to rein it in. More water, less sugar. No sweeping declarations here, but something’s got to give.


Just another day

Well, another day, another drop in resolve. On the menu for the day so far: 2 peanut butter balls, a glass of milk, 2 cups of coffee, 2 slices of pizza, a side salad, and a glass of Coke Zero.

We had a lunch meeting at work today, and I’m not interested in passing up free pizza.

I’m learning that to make better choices, I typically need to wait when I’d rather have or do something now and do/have something now when I would prefer to put it off. Self control and discipline are tough.

On a not so bright note, I just left the dentist and have two cavities, along with my two hole-y teeth and a wisdom tooth heading the wrong way. The dental health isn’t looking good, even though the hygenist said she could tell I take care of my teeth. I keep getting older, so there’s only so much I can do to delay the inevitable, I guess. I’m just glad I’m not trying to ignore the pain anymore.


The Quiet Changes

It’s been two months since my last post. My two-year anniversary of the beginning of my weight loss journey has come and gone, and it’s a new year. During that time, I’ve gone from tracking my food like crazy without losing weight to my current state of stillness.

I thought about letting my blog fall to the wayside and add to the giant pile of abandoned weight loss blogs and be on my way of weight gain and denial. Instead, I’m going to try keeping it simple. No more waiting to have a good picture of topic for my post. No more waiting for the best moment to write. Those quiet moments are rare and probably best used on other things.

So, here I go, 2017. I start the year without any fanfare or big declarations. My only health resolution is to make my health somewhere on my list of priorities. I’m a bit tired of striving for a goal and never reaching it. I know losing weight will help me, but I can’t handle making it such a huge part of my life.

For now, I’m hoping to minimize pain and be more functional. Now, I just need to work on how to make that happen. It won’t be exciting. Instead, I’m hoping for quiet changes that make up a tiny piece of the puzzle that is my life.

Weight! Don’t do it!

1028160536This is the number I saw the morning after we got back from our vacation. I intentionally went against all good logic and advice of waiting until after things return to normal to weigh myself. I wanted to watch the daily ups and downs as my body realized I was no longer going to eat whatever I happened to feel like or be around at the moment (this is also NOT prescriptive, but I have to be honest with you about how my trip went).

Armed with my inflated weight of about 250, I had my annual physical yesterday. Just as a side note, I feel I’ve achieved mature adulthood because I actually have these every year now. I also met one of my goals for 2106 by getting my blood work done. I’ll be interested to see the results.

When it comes to my weight, I feel like I’ve been stuck on the second week of the Biggest Loser. You know what I mean. The one where everyone is excited because they lost 20 pounds the week before and are shocked to see that they only lost 5 (or 1 or gained a pound). Then, after a few seasons, we would all roll our eyes and ask if the contestants had ever watched the show.

While my weight is about the same as my last physical, I am happy to report a lower resting pulse of 73. For those playing along at home, that’s average on all the charts I’ve seen. That’s right folks: Average! Seriously, this is a big deal for someone who has a long record of failed fitness tests. Click the chart to go to the website for info for both men and women, but ignore the unsettling article.


I had a blood pressure of 125/81. This is also an improvement, even if it still is on the pre-hypertension side of things. All in all, it was an encouraging doctor visit. Perhaps, my week 3…I mean, year 3 will come with more wins on the scale.

A Healthy Vacation


Shiprock, New Mexico

I’m writing this quickly because we are beginning a trek to the Tolman homeland today (also known as New Mexico). My mom grew up there, and, even though her family dispersed for a while, many of them have migrated back. New Mexico is also the land of green chiles, ruins, dirt, and cool rock formations. I’ve been there multiple times, but I’m excited to share a little piece of my family tree with my husband. The kiddo will be very happy to see family that he usually can only see via Skype.

It was in New Mexico that I began regaining the 70 pounds I lost in high school. Vacation is always a precarious situation for me when it comes to health. It’s a tough balance between experiencing the local cuisine and leaping into overindulgence.

My goals for this trip are to stay moving and to enjoy myself. I don’t want to stress about my food, because that leads me down a weird path. I’ll post my next weigh-in when I get back. Happy October, everyone!

It’s Not About the Flowers


My beautiful flowers from my husband on my desk at work.

One of wonderful things I inherited from my mom is the ability to pick a great gift. She has always been a master at this. For my brother’s birthday one year, my parents bought him a Sega Genesis. My mom put Sonic 2 inside a box for Reader Rabbit 2, wrapped it up, and gave it to my brother. Imagine the look on his face when he unwrapped it…and then when he opened it! Epic.

With all of the effort that goes into picking out a gift when someone’s really invested in the process, I love how it symbolizes so much more than that. The best gift exchange says, “I care about you,” “I see you,” “I’m thinking about you.” It’s about the connection to the giver.

For instance, my husband brought me flowers at work today for my birthday. They are gorgeous and smelled amazing. But, I didn’t start sobbing because of the flowers (I know…I’m an emotional mess). It was because of how grateful I am to have a husband who loves me so much.


Not only that, but gifts like these point me to my Heavenly Father who is the reason I have a wonderful husband and so much more. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and the like are so good for me. I so easily take things for granted when I’m caught up in the day to day routine. I need to be reminded of the joy I have and the good gifts that surround me.

When I’m grateful, my heart is focused on my Creator instead of being distracted by His creation. Also, when I’m grateful for the body God has given me, I’m more likely to take care of it. Often, I think that healthy eating means doing my best to take all joy out of food. However, I’m free to enjoy things like my free Biggby coffee I have coming when I do so as I honor the Giver above the the gift. In the end, it’s not about the flowers or the coffee. It’s about a God who loves me more than I can imagine.

Feeling Weighed Down


As promised, I’m here to share this morning’s weigh-in. I’ve also decided that any weigh-in post really needs to have “weigh” in the title, so be prepared to enjoy my cleverness until I run out of ideas.

I’m at either 246 or 249, depending on whether you believe the first or second time I weighed myself. I’m officially going with 249. I’m honestly feeling a bit embarrassed to share this, since this means I’ve gained about 15 pounds since mid-July. The good news is that some of this is as a result of a certain almost-7-year-old’s birthday treats. Going back to my normal eating will take away a few of these pounds pretty quickly.

I woke up this morning with a sore throat that I think is from my acid reflux. I have been feeling a bit blah lately, which means it’s even more important that I get some healthy habits in place asap.

I attempted to limit myself to one acid reflux/IBS trigger food this past week. Since caffeine is on that list, this involved singing to myself in the car about keeping my eyes open on the way to work multiple days in a row. I had 1/4 cup of coffee mixed with hot water and creamer a couple of times, and then there were the birthday treats. So, I had one…plus eight or so. I felt guilty about it, and then I felt guilty about feeling guilty since I know I shouldn’t. Oh, boy.

So, my next step is trying another week with one trigger food. Also, I signed up for a fun run with the kiddo for Friday, and it sounds like we might practice once or twice before that. I’ll let you know how it goes.