Strides in self care

My scale read 267.8 pounds yesterday. Granted, I went out with a friend the night before, so that added a little weight that will drop off quickly. On the other hand, I’m also facing a reality of having regained almost all of the weight I’ve lost. I started at 275, lost 40 pounds, and then gained over 30. I was convinced this wouldn’t happen this time. I thought I’d figured this thing out, but here I am.

The good news is that me at 267.8 pounds today is much better off than the me of 3 years ago at 275. I am slowly learning to take care of myself and find healthy ways to cope with stress. I’m more active now than I was. I’ve been through much more difficult situations and, by the grace of God, I’m still standing (If you just had singing gorilla pop into your mind, you’re welcome…and now you probably have every song from Moana cycling through…but enough about quality sound tracks from animated films).

Now the struggle is taking care of myself better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when life is crazy. Some of it comes easy, like getting enough sleep. Some of it, not so much. Taking a shower, eating a vegetable, going for a walk, drinking water, reading my Bible…these are all things I need to be intentional about when I’m out of the usual routine. I need to use coping skills other than food in times like this, and there are plenty to choose from (reading, listening to music, journaling, etc.).

Before I know it, my “usual routine” will no longer exist. We are on the road to being licensed to adopt up to four kids from foster care. Unless something pops up between now and getting a placement that derails the process, I am about to enter a new stage in life. I know I’ll never truly figure this out all the way, but I’m hoping and praying to be in a better place when it happens.

 

 

 

 

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There’s something about August…

August Challenge

Apparently, August is the month for challenges. Last year, I did a month long physical activity challenge where I did 10 minutes each day. Now, I’m in the middle of a step challenge with my weight loss accountability group.

It’s pretty simple. We just track our steps using an activity tracker, pedometer, or phone app and then report how many steps we’ve taken each week to see who gets the most steps. I keep falling just short of my goal of 40,000 steps for the week, and that’s not the only area where I’m falling short.

I’m in an eating slump. While most of the summer has been a refreshing change from previous food obsessions, I’m starting to see myself reverting back to some bad habits. Habits like eating chocolate right out of the freezer and eating a thousand snacks a day. It’s taking a toll on me, too. I haven’t been at this for too long, and I’m already feeling sluggish and have that familiar burning sensation in my esophagus.

So, what am I going to do now that I realize I’m messing up? Well, for one, I’m not going to freak out. I’ve been down this road before, and I’ve lived to tell about it. Two weeks of bad choices is not going to ruin two years of effort.

tomatoNext, I’m going to start heading back in the direction of the habits that have helped me: drinking lots of water, eating lots of protein and veggies, and trying to move…any kind of moving is good at this point. Volleyball is a casualty of our full schedule due to training, paperwork, and home studies to adopt from foster care (here’s an article about some ways to avoid weight gain during the adoption process). My gardening hobby made a dramatic exit somewhere around the middle of July when I went out of town and never got back into the routine. At least my three beautiful tomato plants were spared in the latest excitement of a tree falling in my yard during as a tornado went through my neighborhood.

 

It’ll take time to ramp up, but that’s okay. I’m just glad I am working on things before I gain all the weight back and more.

The Lawn Mower Killer

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I’m a lawn mower killer. Not only did I break our lawn mower, but also our friends’ lawn mower. Follow that up with a van that doesn’t start and a refrigerator that won’t keep things cool, and I have a little bit of a mess.

It seems that even my strategy of pushing ahead through imperfections doesn’t always give me the end product I was hoping for. Let’s review.

  • There’s a weird long patch of grass in my backyard (thankfully, my husband mowed most of the remaining yard with the neighbor’s mower).
  • My food is packed into a mini-fridge waiting for a permanent home.
  • Some of the plants I started inside are doing great, but a lot of them died when I was forced to put them on the porch when the light I was using inside burnt out and then left them out overnight a little too early.
  • My volleyball training plan I wrote about in April is the last thing I’m thinking about.
  • I’m eating more chocolate and drinking more coffee than my digestive system prefers.
  • I haven’t blogged for a very long time. 🙂

All this to say that I have taken some hits to my confidence lately. To be honest, sometimes I just suck at things.

Thankfully, my life isn’t sustained by my self esteem. Just having confidence in my own abilities isn’t going to get me through. Things will go wrong. Sometimes very wrong. Sometimes it will be out of my control. Sometimes it will be completely my fault. At the end of the day, there’s not much I can do about it but get help when I need it and dust myself off and keep on going.

So, I am here to tell you that I’m not letting these recent issues keep me down. It’s been awesome to see how God has provided for us with rides and loaned vehicles while the van has been out of commission. I’m excited to see how God is working in our neighborhood as my church is in the beginning stages of a church plant there. We’re thinking about starting the process to adopt from foster care soon.There are too many awesome things going on for me to be negative right now.