Streaks Habit 3 – Feed Your Soul

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March 2017 – 260.6 pounds

It’s time for a regress…ahem…progress picture. If you have lost weight and regained it recently, you’re not alone! I’m at 260.6. That means I’m down a total of 15 pounds total. What a tiny number list compared to my lowest weight just last year (it was 40 pounds lost).

I “knew” when I started all of this in December 2014 that it would be a lasting change. I would “never” go back to my old ways. Well, as odd as it may seem looking at the numbers, I think I was right.

It’s tempting to see all of my efforts in the last 2+ years as pointless. Yes, I’m frustrated about the weight gain. Yes, I thought I’d be nearing the elusive, shiny goal weight. Or, at least leaving the 200’s…I mean, come on. But, I’m coming out the other side of this feeling more at ease about who I am and more likely to take care of myself.

 

 

One of the habits I’ve been tracking on the Streaks app I’ve titled “Feed Your Soul.” There is a profound reason why God compares food with His word and His Son.

No matter how hard I try to be self sufficient, I am an infinitely weak and needy creature. I need food to live (along with things like water, air, Netflix, etc.). There’s no way around it. Not only do I have to depend on God for food, but I desperately need God Himself to sustain my life and my soul. I need to see Him and know Him to keep going in this life and forever.

I didn’t included this in my habit tracking because my life will be perfect if I spend time in the Bible or I will instantly lose 100 pounds if I am in constant prayer. Crazy things will happen no matter what, but when I’m grounded in Jesus and my identity is found in Him, I make better decisions moment by moment.

Even though I’ve regained some weight, I’ve learned some powerful lessons over the past couple of years. I’ve learned that my weight and weight loss are not who I am. I’m not defined by my  interests. I’m (thankfully) not my ability, or lack thereof, to grow tomatoes, make homemade gnocchi, take care of my hair, or swing a kettlebell.

As I press into my struggles to improve my health, I find that my weakness is not necessarily negative. If I’m filling up on Jesus and the word of God, it points to my need for Him. If I can’t do it, He gets all the glory. And, that is the point.

 

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Why I Write

0115160956It’s funny how the best pictures tell a story, while the best writing paints a picture. Quality art in all forms seems to transcend its limitations to point to something more than itself. In the same way, I yearn for my art and my life to point to something greater than my own words and ideas.

I am not an artist in the traditional sense. I don’t draw or paint (that’s my husband’s thing). I am also not a public speaker by nature, so I can only admire spoken word artists like Blair Linne, Jackie Hill Perry, and Propaganda. While I love singing and photography, I only dabble. My first artistic love is writing.

When I was eight years old, my friend Anna and I started the Writer’s Club (my inspiration was a combination of Anne of Green Gables and the Babysitter’s Club). From that moment forward, I considered myself a writer. The weird part was that I didn’t always feel like I had something important to say. Or, I would make grand plans for a story or a novel and it would never get too much past the planning stage. I did write, but not as much or as well as I had hoped. I dreamed of becoming a journalist, but chose teaching as my major instead (it turns out, I’m not designed for the typical teacher role). When I was in college, I discovered a love of poetry. I was pretty good at it, but I didn’t stick with it consistently even though I hoped to get some of my creations published.

What I’ve learned recently, though, is that I do have something to say. I may not always know what that is or who will listen, but I have a responsibility to share it. When I write, I feel as if barriers are stripped away and I can truly convey what I mean. I’m far from perfect, however, and sometimes I just write what I think people would want to read. As I stumble through my blog posts, I hope that even a tiny part of my writing hints at something (Someone) greater than these words or this woman. That Someone gives me purpose and meaning. That Someone holds the universe in His hand. That Someone loves me, rescued me, and continues to rescue me daily. That Someone is Jesus.

By His strength, for His glory, in His arms

~ Becky